“… I made the shift from working hard to working smart.”
As Black Americans we’re conditioned to believe that we have to work twice as hard to earn the same rights and privileges as White Americans. Add in the fact that we’re women in male dominated careers and that cost goes up exponentially. Often times, we spend our lives believing that we have to prove ourselves worthy before we ask for what we want. We’re conditioned to believe that we must put forth the effort first, bring our receipts to the table, then get reimbursed. But I’d like to challenge that conditioning.
What if we claimed a seat at the table by virtue of our worth and what we deserve instead of what we’ve earned? Let me unpack that a little.
In my 15 years of experience as an electrical engineer, I’ve watched much less qualified White men/women get promotions and extra benefits that I knew I deserved. They seemed to move effortlessly in spaces where I was struggling. I couldn’t figure out how they were able to justify even asking for those bonuses. Here I was working hard – grinding so I had something to bring to the table. Constantly sacrificing my social life, time with my family, and my mental/physical well being, hoping that my efforts would be seen and rewarded accordingly. I remember thinking “maybe it’s just the ‘good old boys club’ or maybe it’s just that ‘good old white privilege’ rearing its ugly head.” I knew if I continued buying into that thought process then nothing I could ever do would afford me the same opportunities…
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Then it hit me! Maybe it wasn’t that complicated. Maybe it was just a matter of shifting my mentality. That type of entitlement comes from a much different belief system. I realized my mind was set on what I had earned, while they were focused on what they deserved. It blew me away! I decided to change the way I had conversations with my managers. I scheduled meetings to discuss performance, salary, and benefits before actual reviews. I read books, I prayed, I found a mentor, and I made the shift from working hard to working smart.
Don’t get me wrong. I still have to possess the right knowledge and be a team player. I still face push back and still have to work with myself to maintain confidence in my abilities and the value I add. I still have to have receipts. But, that mental shift made all the difference.
We’re perceived as speaking too loudly, when in actuality, we’re moving in spaces where our voices weren’t ever meant to be heard.
There are many unique challenges we face as Black women in male dominated fields. We’re perceived as speaking too loudly, when in actuality, we’re moving in spaces where our voices weren’t ever meant to be heard. We’re perceived as being angry or aggressive when we assert ourselves. We’re questioned and challenged and tested and doubted. Yet, there is something special and unique we possess that no one can ever take away.
We must remember we were raised by grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, mentors, and role models who didn’t take “NO” for an answer and refused to be silenced. We stand on the shoulders of Black women who were strong, resilient, and fought for our right to have our voices heard. If they could be that bold, why can’t we? Why can’t we tap into our entitlement? I’m in a position now where I feel confident speaking up for myself and claiming what I know is mine – not just because I ‘earned’ it – but because I DESERVE it and so do you.
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